Wednesday, December 21, 2011

For twisted Christmas contest

Charity Ain't For Everyone

I was there. I saw. I remember this day specifically because it was the busiest day of the year, and the most dreadful day in all the years I've "lived".

It started on Christmas Eve, and by Christmas Day, everyone was dropping like peanuts. I'll zoom in, particularly, about a life of a curious, young boy nick-named Pibble. Why him, specifically? Because he was the only one to survive and to witness what happened to his family. What happened to all the poor families who received gifts from the charity named 'Save Lives.' His family had plenty of problems, let alone the teasing from school about the financial issues his family faced. He witnessed only little of the deaths than what I had witnessed.

A house practically built with cardboard boxes in an alley in the bad part of town. That's what the family lived in. They dug in trash bins for leftover clothes and food, anything they could find. Pibble lived with two older brothers, an older sister, and a younger sister. His father was a heroine addict while his mother was a drunkard. Jeff, the eldest brother, spent too much money on prostitutes, leading him to lose everything to an, what I thought personally, ugly, sly woman with a moustache. She basically stole everything right under his nose, the idiot. Sarine, the second eldest, had gambling addictions. She would gamble her ass off if she wanted to, which she did once, but thank God she won that bet. Dickey was put into Juvenile Hall until he turned into an adult at eighteen because he was accused of kidnapping and raping a six-year-old. The family rejoiced at that time because there was one less mouth to feed. Pibble and his little sister, Tabby, were the only ones left who were innocent. Pibble was six at the time while Tabby was three.

So it was Christmas Eve. 'Save Lives' charity was walking around, delivering toys to all the poor families who had children. One by one, I watched them drop dead. Not just the children, but the adults as well. Witnesses watched and ran to tell the police what was happening, but little did they know about the 'Saves Lives' charity. When they came to Pibble's "house", the family was in a rage. Pibble's father was high once again, staring at the ceiling while his mother was throwing up all over the place from the hangover. Sarine was home and yelling at her parents, blaming them for what they did to her life. She mainly took care of Pibble and Tabby, but there was no one to show her down the road of how to be a mother. Her new boyfriend, Harold, helped her with her gambling addictions and agreed to help her with the family. She lived with him, but it was Christmas, and the family wouldn't budge from their "perfect home". Jeff was sitting in an old rocking chair, looking at old porn magazines in the corner.

The charity came and delivered four toys. A one-eyed doll, a greasy, blue truck, a shaved, fluffy cat, and a minature eraser that was a shape of a teddy bear. The father came and collected the toys from the gloved woman, trying to seem normal. When the woman left, the creep chugged down the teddy bear eraser. He gave the one-eyed doll to Harold, who passed it to Sarine, who gave it to Tabby to play with. Tabby started chewing on its arm, hoping to fill her always hungry belly. The father then dumped the truck on Jeff's head. Jeff grabbed it and chucked it through the roof, making it land in the middle of the street outside. The father then dumped the cat in his wife's lap, telling her that she got the pet she always wanted and that it was a christmas gift from him. She threw up on the poor toy, chucking it outside.

All of a sudden, the father stood stock still, his back completely straight, and his face in shock. His tongue lolled out of his mouth as he stood there, drooling. Pibble got up and went over to his father, patting his leg and asking if he was okay. Sarine was making her way over there when he collapsed on the floor in a seizure. Sarine squealed as she watched her father twitch still once again, his eyes glazed. She ran outside and screamed for help. Pibble ran outside to Sarine, his eyes wide with fright. He wanted to ask her what was going on, but when he caught up to her, he saw the same face on Sarine that his father had. She stood still and then collapsed, the process restarting before Pibble's young eyes. Pibble cried out as tears started rolling down his cheeks. He sprinted inside as Jeff sprinted outside, and saw Harold on the ground still. Tabby started the process, her mouth foaming, her hands at her stomach as she cried. She looked at Pibble, crying out to him, her hands held out before she, too, stood absolutely still before she fell to the ground. Pibble heard Jeff outside yelling as Pibble watched his mother glance up at him. She mouthed 'I love you. I always will.' She then dropped dead.

It was then when the streets were silenced from Jeff's calls, and that's when Pibble knew he was gone also. Pibble went down on his knees and cried. The poor boy cried until the police came to take him away. Surprisingly, (well, not really) Dickey was caught up in a fight at Juvy, and bled to death. That was why the police came in the first place. When they saw everyone dead, they took the boy and put him in an orphanage.

The next day, the media was talking about the poisoned toys distributed by the 'Save Lives' Charity. The FBI found out that the charity was a fraud and that it was made up of a group of people who wanted to get rid of all the poor in their cities. They didn't want their cities to be polluted with, as they called them, 'hobos', 'filthy lowlives', or 'dangerous animals'.

Pibble grew up to become a rich man, surprisingly, since Harold's fortune went to him. Little did anyone know that Harold won the lottery the day before and wanted to tell the family on the day of Christmas. What luck, huh? Well, death works in funny ways, no pun intended. My job is a very serious one to take, having to guide those lost souls to purgatory. Pibble's job? He grew up to become a hunter, and not just any hunter. A 'Save Lives' charity manhunter. He searched and killed almost all the members of the charity. Those who got away weren't as lucky. You know why? Because they all were eventually caught by me.

And, did you know, there still is a bigger reason why I chose Mr. Pibble's life? Because I haven't even caught him yet. Supposedly, he believes he's invincible, being that he's dead now, and his ghost remains. I heard he watches over those who are poor, being the St. Nick for them. Don't worry, I haven't ended my search because no one escapes death.

3 comments:

  1. It's very interesting how you don't reveal that the "I" in the story is death itself until the very end. that part is pretty amazing. :) However, some of the wording is funky and confuses the reader as to which 'he' you are talking about and so forth. Also, you switch between a casual witness looking on from above and a more passive, third-person voice, detracting from your intent.
    The last couple of sentences are incredibly powerful--definitely my favorite part of this. Great job!!

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  2. i didn't want to use the names of the characters a lot...so I used the he/she/it/they thingies. (Pronouns, I think they're called?) I wanted to make the story seemingly more intense by "sneakily" going from casual witnessing to a more personal, intensive view. I guess that didn't work. :) Thanks for the criticism!!! :D (don't worry, i'm not being sarcastic). :)

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  3. The setting and build-up of this story is very nicely done. I agree that the last two sentences are powerful, the perfect way to end the tale. Choosing Death as your storyteller is a very risky thing to do and it's so easy for it to fall flat, but you transformed this traditional figure into a person with a tangible personality. Well done! My one suggestion is to have shorter paragraphs- starting a new one when the subject of your writing changes. It'll make everything flow more smoothly. ;) This is a really twisted and well-written story you have here.

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